w00t. haven't been here in awhile..
i feel like ass..
life is, sort of.. unexpected these days
it seems harder to decipher how i should feel
emotions are weird.
thoughts that weren't
thoughts that were
i don't know.
i just want to be content.
i don't care about "happy" anymore
i'm finding it much harder to..cope
than it once was.
finding out the true nature of people lately,
can't say it's exactly fun,
but it's helping to weed out the people who i
once would have proudly called my family.
deciphering those who are just out for themselves,
those who are full of themselves,
those who are completely full of SHIT,
those who would go behind my back,
those who call only when they need something,
those who could more than likely give a fuck less about my perception,
those who would deny their intentions completely,
those who would deny my thoughts as valid,
and "I" who find it easier to just detach,
without much confrontation
or reasoning of my disapproval
YOU can figure THAT out
snakes in the grass
not my true brothers
it's kool tho
if you can do that to someone
good for you
but... either way.. fuck you, i wish no ill
and my discomfort will grow no further
you're not worth it.
but i'm sure it's just a "time" sort of thing
just can't deal with people/things/situations like that.
been fucked over one too many times by "friends" or "brothers".
girls, situations, goals, nonsense.
my knowledge will continue to grow
and softly will the night fall
TOMORROW: we strive forward.
LOG# : 9085765390864
V.8: end transmission
i'm not exactly sure why im typing.
i feel weird right now.
a little more so than usual.
its, whats the word..
a little... dis·con·tent·ing.
yea, thats it.
i dont rightly know, anyhow,
something kind of feels better.
but, i dont know what.
something makes me have,
a slight lightness in my chest.
almost, excitement, as if,
there were something pushing out.
or at least,
trying to. right?
its a real light feeling.
but its there.
i dont know how to interpret.
<>note: off subject, i may need to
slow pace on the mary jane intake.<>
progress always seems
just, right around the corner.
ive been doing alot of things.
that ive been meaning to work on.
mostly goals, mostly, building.
im not too sure what yet.
but, as long as i continue to
produce and, tattoo, maybe.
yea, i think it'll be happy.
i passed by that place.
i heard that tune.
really. its all i need.
im sitting in illuminating monitor light.
eating, the carcass of a deceased bird.
sounds fun i know.
it looks to be most of the chicken.
about, half, with one leg.
it would normally seem disgusting.
anywho, it doesnt stop me from thinking.
man, i wish you were here...
just a little bit.
if i had an ounce of faith
i'd reside it in your name
i'd continue playing this game
do anything to stay the same
i think i represent the population pretty fucking well
couldnt care less about politics,
nothing really matters much,
fit well in my dempographic,
21 caucaisan male, rapping in my free time.
uninspired by the daily cycles that i go through,
i medicate to brainwash
now i think correctly.
anything i have to do is nothing that i want to,
even if i did before
making me just ruined it now.
i appreciate a good book when its burning,
fire is intriguing,
light keeps me occupied,
writing only works to solidify stupidity,
i could use some fucking help,
let me take this opprotunity.
its a cypher optics song but i thought it fit pretty well.
no matter what we face.
we must face the moment of truth.
i hate this town.
nothin but shit talkin'.
i need to look up once in awhile,
we need more sunshine.
today has a weight.
that im not sure we're really able to comprehend.
sometimes i wish i had a gun, fucking ignorance.
hair of the dead, ink in the skin...
and that's it.
i was just a convenience. or at least, my house.
i know im an asshole, but, i've never done anyone dirty.
i walked through that doorway for the last time,
santeria found me...